distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
