I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
