And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
