watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
