Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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