hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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