Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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