i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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