Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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