If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
