I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize