you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
