I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize