Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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