she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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