yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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