From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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