Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
