tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
