I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize