I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
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