He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
