The maid of honor just puked.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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