So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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