can we get nightvision for the apartment?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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