dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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