So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
