Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize