masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
