Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
