I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
