I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
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It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize