you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
