So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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