If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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