Im at strip club and am horny
3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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