I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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