i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
