it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
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