My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize