non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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