Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
We are all done wearing pants today
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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