I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
