Non-Jews are for practice
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
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