look no pants
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
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To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
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I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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