4 words: hood of his car
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
