This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize