I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
