She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
