It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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