That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
