life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
